|Artist- Hannah Willow|
I haven't blogged here in a while. It's been on my mind. I'm travelling a deep cycle of personal healing that has taken me to the core of my personal identity, many attachments stripped away.
I experienced a wave of transformational energy in 2010, that was joyful, exhilarating.
Different this time: longer, darker, more sombre, more violent, as a winter storm thrashing branches and clouding the sky dark.
And also deeper, more profound changes and understandings are occurring. Yoga is strong and continues to be a refuge. I regret that I am unable to teach right now, but I wish that my ever increasing awareness and insight will be expressed through future work.
Right now, self-care is the imperative and that is self-care on all levels. I am fine-tuning my diet, my body is in very good shape. I am exercising, spending time with Nature.
I am attending to emotional wounds, I am deepening my spiritual practice into prayer, contemplation and am receptive to wisdom and revelation.
Its a solitary path and necessarily so. Heart-rendingly lonely at times. Mystic Christian Spanish saints, Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross have lived something like this and written of their experience, thus guiding others.
Their term is noche oscura - dark night. I like the lyrical quality of the Spanish, more gentle somehow that the hard consonants of English.
Something of a misnomer, dark night implies a short, set period, while I am headed into my second winter of this phenomenum.
I'm not writing to blame, complain, seek pity even! More to keep the blog alive and to be candid about what is real for me right now. And to assure you of my fidelity.
The idea of night automatically contains within it the idea of the dawn, the return of the light and that is what I am holding to, especially now having travelled the darkest month of the calendar, just before winter solstice in the Celtic year and advent in the Christian tradition.
The light has now come and we are now illuminated, may we all be received and nourished by the growing light.
I feel to be in darkness or obscurity for some time to come; but as Iunderstand and accept and trust that evermore deeply, there is a sense of comfort, of being held.
I now choose to trust and believe that deep renewal is taking place and I feel grateful that life is supporting me to make this journey at this time.